“The prayer of Gethsemane was an expression of horror in face of death, a reaction proper to all human nature, especially to an incorrupt nature which should not submit to death, and for whom death could only be a voluntary rending contrary to nature.”
― Vladimir Lossky, The Mystical Theology of the Eastern Church
It’s always an ordeal going to the Department of Motor Vehicles in my county. If you don’t make an appointment, you might wait in line four hours to get your business done. I had an appointment but still had to wait quite a while before they started running me through the mill by means of one device and machine and screen after another.
At least there were (not too robotic) humans directing me when to put my thumb down on the black box and how to “relax your elbow” when doing it; and telling me where to sit and where to stand and where to look for the rows of letters for the vision test. I came away eventually with my newly renewed driver’s license, but feeling quite “too old for this,” and with more errands remaining.
So on the way to the next one, a stop at the Big Box store, I listened to a reading of the Psalter through the Bluetooth in my car. The verses gave words to my lament, and directed them in the right direction, so that by the time I was pumping gas into my Subaru, I was peaceful, having been especially struck by the line, “All my bones shall say, “Lord, O Lord, Who is like unto Thee?” He is with us in our afflictions!
I don’t think I mentioned here yet that my dear daughter-in-law “Joy” is coming from Colorado with the four grandchildren this week, while my son is out of the country for a spell. At the store I found plenty of eggs to buy and have on hand for them, which was a blessing, as recently I’ve more than once found the shelves empty of eggs.
I went home with enough time to put all the groceries away, eat dinner, and then run my last errand, to the tax-preparer’s office, which was actually the least stressful part of the day. For a few years my taxes have been done by the same Nice Lady, and she and I have become friends; she really does like to see pictures of my garden, and we talk about our travel experiences and families. And now that pesky job is done.
The best thing that happened today, though, was the one unexpected event, of needing to clean out my big bedroom closet because of finding ants trailing through this morning. I haven’t put all the shoes and stuff back, but it was satisfying to do a thorough job of that, which, if it hadn’t been for a few ants, I would have continued putting off. Since I had to be driving all over for much of the day, it worked out well that I needed to do a homemaker-y thing right off the bat, because that is what all my bones love the most.
PRAYER
Some days, although we cannot pray, a prayer
utters itself. So, a woman will lift
her head from the sieve of her hands and stare
at the minims sung by a tree, a sudden gift.
Some nights, although we are faithless, the truth
enters our hearts, that small familiar pain;
then a man will stand stock-still, hearing his youth
in the distant Latin chanting of a train.
Pray for us now. Grade 1 piano scales
console the lodger looking out across
a Midlands town. Then dusk, and someone calls
a child’s name as though they named their loss.
Darkness outside. Inside, the radio’s prayer –-
Rockall. Malin. Dogger. Finisterre.
-Carol Ann Duffy
PRAYER (I)
Prayer the church’s banquet, angel’s age,
God’s breath in man returning to his birth,
The soul in paraphrase, heart in pilgrimage,
The Christian plummet sounding heav’n and earth
Engine against th’ Almighty, sinner’s tow’r,
Reversed thunder, Christ-side-piercing spear,
The six-days world transposing in an hour,
A kind of tune, which all things hear and fear;
Softness, and peace, and joy, and love, and bliss,
Exalted manna, gladness of the best,
Heaven in ordinary, man well drest,
The milky way, the bird of Paradise,
Church-bells beyond the stars heard, the soul’s blood,
The land of spices; something understood.
-George Herbert
Gladsome Lights 