Tag Archives: comfort

Covered in the same powdered sugar.

The view while flying over Greece.

I was not alone on my trip home, and I know you understand what I mean. I’m referring to the fact that because God is present, we are never alone, even when we might lack for human connection. I’m not referring to any companionship with the hundreds of other passengers surrounding me on the planes or in the airports; it was absent, though in the past I’ve had more occasion to experience it, even when going by myself. Traveling with another person who acknowledges your existence makes a huge difference, as I was reminded when Pippin and I were together on our way to Greece last month.

In my experiences of air travel in the last ten years, I find that people are generally not as friendly as they used to be, which I well understand. It’s an unnatural situation to be so close physically to so many other humans who are total strangers, and it’s hard to figure out how to maintain one’s emotional space, or to give the other person privacy of some sort, when there is pretty much zero physical space between you and the one in the next seat. I try at least to say hello or give a nod and a smile when we take our places, but fewer people than in the past are willing to make eye contact or even look my way.

Snack on Aegean Airlines

The whole situation leads us to go into survival mode, whatever that means for the individual. For most, it seems to mean watching as many movies as will fit into an 11-hour flight, escaping into those stories. I only watch a few minutes at a time of whatever I can see of others’ screens across the aisle or next to me, and seeing everything as a silent movie with no captions makes most of the stories appear ridiculous or inane.

In survival mode, I know I personally like being fed, which my child-self knows is essential to survival, though for my adult self it might actually be more helpful to keep a water-only fast. My child self wants comfort food, and was glad for the beef stew, lasagna and calzone. Even pretzels on a shorter flight are sustaining to the soul.

On my last long day of being in multiple airports and planes, for the first time ever when traveling, I realized I was feeling lonely, and was nearly brought to tears. But in getting to and from those airports, I also was blessed by two Uber drivers (one Greek, one Afghani) who were very companionable humans, with whom I was able to have positive and real, nourishing conversations, and my trip ended on that warm note.

I hadn’t thought to write about these things until I read the poem below (which is almost a prose poem, no matter), and it reminded me of the many times during my lifetime that I have been rescued in various ways on my travels. I don’t remember if I have been in a position to rescue any other travelers, though I do remember looking at a lot of pictures of his children that a man once showed me. I would say the same as Naomi: This is the world I want to live in.

GATE A-4

Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal, after learning
my flight had been delayed four hours, I heard an announcement:
“If anyone in the vicinity of Gate A-4 understands any Arabic, please
come to the gate immediately.”

Well — one pauses these days. Gate A-4 was my own gate. I went there.

An older woman in full traditional Palestinian embroidered dress, just
like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing. “Help,”
said the flight agent. “Talk to her. What is her problem? We
told her the flight was going to be late and she did this.”

I stooped to put my arm around the woman and spoke haltingly.
“Shu-dow-a, Shu-bid-uck Habibti? Stani schway, Min fadlick, Shu-bit-se-wee?” The minute she heard any words she knew, however poorly used, she stopped crying. She thought the flight had been cancelled entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for major medical treatment the next day. I said, “No, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just later, who is picking you up? Let’s call him.”

We called her son, I spoke with him in English. I told him I would
stay with his mother till we got on the plane and ride next to
her. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just
for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and found out of course they had ten shared friends. Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian poets I know and let them chat with her? This all took up two hours.

She was laughing a lot by then. Telling of her life, patting my knee,
answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool
cookies — little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts — from her bag — and was offering them to all the women at the gate. To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the mom from California, the lovely woman from Laredo — we were all covered with the same powdered sugar. And smiling. There is no better cookie.

And then the airline broke out free apple juice from huge coolers and two little girls from our flight ran around serving it and they
were covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend — by now we were holding hands — had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing, with green furry leaves. Such an old country tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and I thought, This is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in that gate — once the crying of confusion stopped — seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too.

This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.

-Naomi Shihab Nye

People are weeping – St. Tikhon of Zadonsk

On this day we remember St. Tikhon of Zadonsk, a man born into a poor Russian family in 1724. He excelled in school, and after attending seminary became a teacher, and then a monk. After being elevated to the bishopric, at one time he had over 800 churches under his care; the story of his life is well told: here.

It was a huge job, and he accomplished a great deal, but his health began to suffer to the point that he wasn’t able to carry out his duties. He was transferred to a monastery in Zadonsk, and in solitude and relative rest continued to write. Bodily afflictions didn’t cease, but changed, and he became plagued with insomnia and depression, as this article “Victor over Melancholy” explains:

“It was a time of desperate and total battle with his thoughts, of overcoming the spirit of melancholy, despair, and despondency, and of a reassessment of his life circumstances; in the end, his soul acquired the priceless experience of overcoming, and with that the boldness to comfort the despairing….”

Being in seclusion was in some ways harder than overseeing hundreds of parishes, and the saint considered a petition to go back to his former overly-busy life. But eventually he gave up trying to change his situation, and gave himself to ministering to the many needs of the people in the community:

“In the small house where he lived, he organized a type of hospital for those who contracted any kind of illness on the way to work or on pilgrimage. He also offered spiritual alms, tearfully praying for the needs and illnesses of those closely and not so closely known by him.”

His writings were widely read by this time; in one of his compilations of “spiritual treasures” he exhorts us:

“We see in the world that people are weeping… They are born with weeping, live with weeping, and die with weeping. People weep because they live in the world—a place of weeping, the vale of tears… And you weep, Christian!… Weep, while time yet remains, while tears are yet beneficial. Weep, and you will not weep eternally. Weep, and be comforted.”   Source

The first Orthodox monastery established in the United States is dedicated to St. Tikhon of Zadonsk: St. Tikhon’s Monastery in Pennsylvania was founded in 1905 concurrently with an orphans’ home, and the current campus is shared with St. Tikhon’s Seminary and Bookstore as well.

Annual Memorial Day Pilgrimage to St. Tikhon’s Monastery, May 2024

Before falling asleep in death, at the age of 59, St. Tikhon was delivered of his melancholy. But in the years previous, during which his writings were proving beneficial to so many, it’s clear from them that his spiritual struggles were already bearing fruit. His example is inspiring, and his words confirm it:

“A manifest sign of love for God is a heartfelt gladness in God, for we rejoice in what we love. Likewise love of God cannot exist without joy, and whenever a man feels the sweetness of the love of God within his heart, he rejoices in God. For so sweet a virtue as love cannot be felt without joy. As honey sweetens our throat when we taste of it, so the love of God makes our heart glad when we taste and see that the Lord is good (LXX-Ps. 33:9 [KJV-Ps. 34:8]). –“On Love for God”

Saint Tikhon was glorified on Sunday August 13, 1861.

I sing of Christmas and comforts.

Correggio

If you have not already put away every thing pertaining to Christmas, perhaps you are like me in some way… I have various reasons, year by year, to leave up the lights around my kitchen window, or to be slow about putting away my basket of music CD’s about the Christ Child and the glorious message of God With Us. I just mailed the last of my Christmas cards this week.

My Orthodox parish celebrates the Nativity of Christ on the “new calendar,” December 25th, like most of you, but many of my friends only began on January 7th their feast both liturgical and dietary, and this year in particular I am grateful to continue my heart’s celebrations with them.

These monks in Ukraine gave a concert some years ago, and a full 15 minutes of their carol-singing is in this video, which I’ve been listening to over and over. Their joy infuses me, and I weep for being comforted. “Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people…”

Comfort ye! Comfort ye, my people! Saith your God.
Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem,
and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplish’d,
that her iniquity is pardon’d.
The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness,
Prepare ye the way of the Lord,
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be exalted,
and every mountain and hill made low,
the crooked straight, and the rough places plain.
     -Isaiah 40

I don’t need to know a word of their language to hear the message: Christ is born!!!

If this is a little too much exultation for you at this time, because you celebrated plenty already, it might be you could benefit from reading Auntie Leila‘s encouraging words about how to wind down from the overstimulation of the Christmas season. I was greatly helped by her simple and homey ideas, with easy “action points,” in this article, “An Epiphany Thought.” She writes:

“We didn’t used to call it overstimulation back when I was young, but when I recently saw something about this idea for moms, I reflected on how, as a young woman definitely fighting through to a quieter situation, I developed some strategies to address just that issue, of needing to be calmer so that I could think!”

In many ways it was easier to keep a quiet sort of focus and household when I was a young mother maintaining a certain atmosphere in the home, for the sake of a large family who lived together. Now that I have only myself to keep in order, I don’t do such a good job, and I am grateful for reminders like this, of how to “mother” myself.

One factor in the overall mood of a home certainly is the weather outside, and many of you have asked me how we are faring in my area of northern California, with the storms, high winds and flooding. They haven’t been a big problem for anyone I have talked to, and though I’ve been out and about the last few days, I haven’t come across any flooded areas. We have had these wet winters before, and to me this one doesn’t seem unusual. But I am just one person.

In spite of unfortunate damages, I can’t help being very glad that we are getting so wet. It’s a perpetually arid land, and I’m afraid people will always be fighting water wars. When extra water is falling from the skies, it feels like showers of blessing from Heaven, and cause for at least a temporary cease-fire in those battles. I will go on ignoring the weather news and will try to pay closer attention to what’s happening in my garden — and in my heart and home.