Category Archives: humor

A dog without a tail.

gl-robot-at-computerI still get a few spam comments on my blog, but they are usually pretty boring these days. In the past I began a collection of the interesting ones, including the purely delightful combinations of words that always made me wonder if chaos theory applies here, or was it just very poetic and sweet non-native robot speakers of English ? with their charming and childlike misspellings…

First, I enjoy the often-thankful comments from those who are philosophical like me:

**Thanks for this post. I undoubtedly agree with what you might be saying. I have been talking about this topic a good deal lately with my mother so hopefully this will get him to see my point of view. Fingers crossed!

**My wife and I have been very blessed in our lives. We have also lived troguhh very tight times ( I. E., blood donations.)

**Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: prceoius life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

And there are the practical and encouraging tips and admonitions:

**When you have replied after 7 years, how do you except the reply immediately. Be Patient. Just wait for 7 more years to receive the reply. I use it every day.

**Paragraph writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with after that you can write if not it is complicated to write.

**Open cupboard doors if your drain pipe is frozen or slice into
your surfaces or ceilings allowing the heat from your home to get to the pipes.

**so-called light cooked dress is not necessarily going to formal, just a feeling, albeit obscure, unlikely uncertain. Do not follow the rules but the atmosphere of printing , is hit the color of a new pattern of it, A glyph When did you start to become so confident? Perhaps it is because of your confidence.gl-spot-looking-in

**If you are the kind of person who feels it’s important how a body of a loved one is disposed of, then I would recommend cemiatron most because it’s difficult to bury a body deep enough to protect it from scavengers. And if you had your cat euthanized, the scavengers could get sick from leftover euthanasia solution.

**I needed to csmoope you one very small remark

Lastly — and I need to get these out of the way so they don’t drag me down (actually I think the fathers say that down is up…?) with pride during Lent — are the compliments, which may be just flattery, I know 😦 A couple of these I’m not entirely certain which category they go in, but since this kind of feedback is rare anymore, I’ll count them as pats on the back:

**Ab fab my gooldy man.

**You have touched some fastidious points here.

**I am writing to let you be aware of what a beicfneial encounter my friend’s child encountered using your webblog. She even learned too many things

**Your individual stuffs outstanding. At all times care for it up!

**Right away I am ready togl-breakfast-at-computer-mine do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming over again to read more news.

**nice paragraph and pleasant urging

**You do such a good job for a dog without a tail.

🙂

Bearish boy slays Tablespoon.

When Nikkipolani made a comment on a recent post about the humor of computer-generated translations, I was reminded of a goofy homeschooling “project” of 20+ years ago. It was nothing assigned, but we were all centered around the home for our learning at the time, providing time for this sort of activity.

Some of our kids were memorizing Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” just for fun when we bought our first computer and discovered the inadequacy of spelling-checkers. Soon the children submitted the rhyme of the hour to the built-in program for analysis, and then they memorized that wacky “corrected” version.

Eventually a second run through Spell Checker produced another funny nonsense poem. And I later found one derived from “Jabberwocky” by someone else’s computer, which was renamed as well, as “Tablespoons” ! All of them have their charming lines, so I will be extravagant and self-indulgent and put them all here. Just not the original — you can find that easily enough if you didn’t ever commit it to memory yourself.

Jabberwocky by Spell Checker No. 1

‘Twas brisling, and the stilly toes
Did gyre and gamble in the wade;
All missy were the borogoves,
And the mom rates outreach.

“Beware the Jabberwocky, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujube bird, and shun
The furious Band director!”

He took his volume sword in hand:
Long time the Manxmen foe he fought,–
So rested he by the Hum hum tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And as in offish thought he stood,
The Jabberwocky, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffing through the bulgy wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The volume blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with his head
He went galloping back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwocky?
Come to my arms, my bearish boy!
O fabulous day! Callow! Chalet!”
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brisling, and the stilly toes
Did gyre and gamble in the wade;
All missy were the borogoves,
And the mom rates outreach.

Next, the version that Robert McNally wrote on his Newton comJabberwocky17.inddputer. The Newton helpfully deciphered it as follows. Jabberwocky a la Newton: [with totally unrelated illustration from the defunct Jabberwocky Magazine]

TABLESPOONS

Teas Willis, and the sticky tours
Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.
All mimes were the borrowers,
And the moderate Belgrade.

“Beware the tablespoon my son,
The teeth that bite, the Claus that catch.
Beware the Subjects bird, and shred
The serious Bandwidth!”

He took his Verbal sword in hand:
Long time the monitors fog he sought,
So rested he by the Tumbled tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And as in selfish thought he stood,
The tablespoon, with eyes of Flame,
Came stifling through the trigger wood,
And troubled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and though,
The Verbal blade went thicker shade.
He left it dead, and with its head,
He went gambling back.

“And host Thai slash the tablespoon?
Come to my arms my bearish boy.
Oh various day! Cartoon! Cathay!”
He charted in his joy.

Teas Willis, and the sticky tours
Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.
All mimes were the borrowers,
And the moderate Belgrade.

Lewis Carroll’s JABBERWOCKY as “recognized” by the Apple Newton, (c) 1993 Robert McNally. Permission is granted to reproduce this if the copyright remains intact.

Finally, our own spell-checker’s second attempt, which seems to me to have the most culinary and homey perspective. (This fellow’s cartoon seems to catch that mood even from the original.)

Jabberwocky by Spell Checker No. 2

Twos broiling, and the slaty stoves
Did gyre and gimbal in the be;
All mimes were the Porridges,
And the mom rats outrace.

“Beware the Jabberwocky, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujube bird, and shun
The frumpish Bandersnatch!”

He took his formula sword in hand:
Long time the manhole foe he sought,–
So rested he by the Dumdum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in offish thought he stood,
The Jabberwocky, with eyes of flame,
Came wheeling through the tulle wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The formula blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with his head
He went galumphing back.

“And haft thou slain the Jabberwocky?
Come to my arms, my bearish boy!
O fractious day! Calla! !”
He chortled in his joy.

Twos broiling, and the slaty stoves
Did gyre and gimbal in the be;
All mimes were the porridges,
And the mom rats outrace.

Now tell me, was this a common recreation for a time back in the 90’s? Perhaps children are still having this kind of fun with their technology, but mine barely remember the project. They definitely moved on, but I’m glad I have the mementos of happy and occasionally silly days.

Roses on My Path – salmon, not misty

salmon pointy petal cropI was sitting on the couch this morning, my head laid back with hot compresses on my eyes. I do this once or twice a day as part of a regimen to treat dry eyes. I had just mentioned to Mr. Glad that I was going over to church soon to deadhead the roses.

That made him think to tell me that the Sonny Criss CD he is expecting in the mail any day, which he ordered just to get one song from it, includes a rendition of “Misty Roses.”

“You know the Tim Hardin song, he asked, that goes, ‘You look to me like misty roses…’?”

“Is that because he needs glasses?” I wondered aloud. “No, I don’t remember it.” Then my music man played it for me off the Internet, while I listened from the couch in the other room.

Though the lines were vague and odd, I listened silently and attentively, until the singer crooned, “Flowers often cry
But too late to find
That their beauty has been lost
With their peace of mind….”

And then I laughed uncontrollably for a long time. Here are the words of the whole song. Probably many of you know this song, and if you love it, forgive me. I am willing to attribute something like feelings to plants, but the ideas in these lyrics, well, they just don’t sound like the roses I know.

Misty Roses

You look to me like misty roses
Too soft to touch
But too lovely to leave alone
If I could be like misty roses
I’d love you much
You’re too lovely to leave alone
Flowers often cry
But too late to find
That their beauty has been lost
With their peace of mind
You look to me like love forever
Too good to last
But too lovely not to try
If I believe in love forever
I’d forget the past
You’re too lovely
Not to try

It’s surprising to me how many artists have sung these words over the years. If anyone sang them to me I would think he must be drunk. I guess I have a perspective on roses and a love for the English language that prevent me from appreciating these sentiments expressed in this way. But I do appreciate a good laugh early in the morning.

Here is a rose I encountered on my neighborhood walks. Look at those pointy petals….To my mind it has nothing to do with the song above. But it is lovely.

salmon pointy petal cluster

Owls, Lepers, and More Around the Net

In just two days’ tootling around some of my favorite places on the Internet I have found items worth sharing in several categories: humor, animal photos, Bible study, a recipe and a quilt — just a sampling of this week’s surprises in that wide world.

Gumbo Lily shows photos of the darling owls in her own back yard. She often encounters wildlife to capture with her camera, illustrating the ranch life she captures with her pen (um…keyboard).

Angie got me laughing again, this time about Internet spam, of all things. Spam with a Scottish twist.

M.K.’s recent post To Touch a Leper, got me thinking on the wonderful and mysterious fact of Christ’s life and how it is health and cleanness.

A quilter-blogger Who Loves Baby Quilts and doesn’t own a sewing machine made a sweet mini quilt she refers to as a mug rug. Now I know what to call my own treasured little rug given to me some time ago. I’m showing both sides, which I have tried to keep pretty by not using it when my mug contains cocoa.

Last, a simple and simply yummy-sounding Greek dessert that requires not much more than opening a container of good yogurt.