Jesus comes near and he beholds the city And looks on us with tears in his eyes, And wells of mercy, streams of love and pity Flow from the fountain whence all things arise. He loved us into life and longs to gather And meet with his beloved face to face How often has he called, a careful mother, And wept for our refusals of his grace, Wept for a world that, weary with its weeping, Benumbed and stumbling, turns the other way, Fatigued compassion is already sleeping Whilst her worst nightmares stalk the light of day. But we might waken yet, and face those fears, If we could see ourselves through Jesus’ tears.
This week I discovered Longfellow’s poem, “The Poet’s Calendar,” and I liked it so much I decided to memorize it, starting with the April section. Just before dusk today, as I was ambling along the creek path, I worked on those several lines, which are so musical, within a few minutes the words had flowed right into my heart. Two sorts of hearts are featured in the poem.
April in these parts started out pretty cold, but is beginning to warm up. We had several surprise showers after it seemed that rain had gone for good — of course not forever, though our dry California summers sometimes feel like “forever,” while we wait and hope for precipitation again in the fall. One of those showers was half-frozen slush that splatted on my car’s windshield for a few minutes.
Storksbill or Cranesbill – don’t remember which…
It’s easier to fit in a good walk, now that the clocks have been changed and there is more evening to work with. The live oaks along my path are sprouting new growth, and climbing roses that escaped their back yards bloom again on the chain link fence.
APRIL
I open wide the portals of the Spring …..To welcome the procession of the flowers, With their gay banners, and the birds that sing …..Their song of songs from their aerial towers. I soften with my sunshine and my rain …..The heart of earth; with thoughts of love I glide Into the hearts of men, and with the Hours …..Upon the Bull with wreathed horns I ride.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, from “The Poet’s Calendar”
Maybe He looked indeed much as Rembrandt envisioned Him in those small heads that seem in fact portraits of more than a model. A dark, still young, very intelligent face, A soul-mirror gaze of deep understanding, unjudging. That face, in extremis, would have clenched its teeth In a grimace not shown in even the great crucifixions. The burden of humanness (I begin to see) exacted from Him That He taste also the humiliation of dread, cold sweat of wanting to let the whole thing go, like any mortal hero out of his depth, like anyone who has taken herself back. The painters, even the greatest, don’t show how, in the midnight Garden, or staggering uphill under the weight of the Cross, He went through with even the human longing to simply cease, to not be. Not torture of body, not the hideous betrayals humans commit nor the faithless weakness of friends, and surely not the anticipation of death (not then, in agony’s grip) was Incarnation’s heaviest weight, but this sickened desire to renege, to step back from what He, Who was God, had promised Himself, and had entered time and flesh to enact. Sublime acceptance, to be absolute, had to have welled up from those depths where purpose Drifted for mortal moments.