“We want to be safe. When we see that another person is sorry for what they have done to us, we begin to think that they will now become safe. We fear forgiving those who show no sorrow or who have not clearly repented of their actions towards us. And we do well to fear it. That is a completely rational, even “hard-wired,” instinctive response. But that tells us what forgiveness actually entails and what it is that Christ asks of us.”
The Orthodox Church starts Lent off with the Vespers of Forgiveness, which all are strongly encouraged to attend, and to participate in, by asking forgiveness of everyone else in the church, one by one.
Not everyone does this, and those who do likely go on struggling to forgive again and again as Lent continues*, and as we pray our daily Lenten prayer of St. Ephraim, in which one thing we ask God to give us is the spirit of “humility, patience, and love for mankind.” So I am posting a link to this short meditation from Fr. Stephen on why it is so hard to forgive: “The Danger and Shame of Forgiveness.”
More from the article:
“Forgiveness in the Christian sense is properly an act of self-emptying. It is a voluntary act of foolishness in which we act in a manner contrary to the shame that has been cast upon us. Understood in this manner, forgiveness is of a piece with bearing the Cross itself. It is of paramount importance that the one act of general forgiveness offered by Christ is found in words spoken from the Cross. They could have been spoken from nowhere else.”
You can read the whole essay: here.
*(This year Easter in the Eastern Orthodox Church is May 5th,
so we are still in the middle of our Great Fast.)
revealed this necessity to him through an extraordinary vision: One day, as though in a light sleep, Gregory saw himself holding a vessel in his hand full to overflowing with milk. Gradually, the milk turned into wine which likewise spilled over the rim, and drenched his hands and garments.
Gladsome Lights 