The wave is breaking in a deep sea.

The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea.
-Vladimir Nabokov

On Sunday I taught my first Zoom church school class, on St. Thomas. That was after tuning in, and trying to tune my spirit, to the streamed Divine Liturgy in the morning. In the later afternoon about twenty of us women met on Zoom to chat for an hour and to chose the next book for those of us who read together. Before sundown, I picked peas.

All day my mind was trying to pull me away from that present moment’s demands, but not totally — because it seemed to be doing that which is its natural skill, to weave the latest input from that very moment into the grid of experience and memory. I do not at all like the idea of my mind being like a computer, but the concept of fragmented files occurs to me…

Keeping the contents in a cohesive, organized fashion is a challenging project at my age, when the “files” have mushroomed, and my “processor” is trying to save a hundred bits of data every day to the most logical place. I have an astounding human mind, which sees way more connections between all those thoughts and images and stories than a simple machine could ever do. It is constantly clumping and re-clumping and arranging things, all the while thinking in sentences about its strategies.

This afternoon my godmother came through the gate to my garden, and we visited across the patio for an hour. I shared a smidgen of the last few days, and how it seemed that about five blog posts were churning in a mass in my head, trying to sort themselves out.

Since she went home, I’ve been halfheartedly applying myself to the task, but there is so much I want to write. It seems hard now, during this world pandemic, to sift through all the noise, or turn one’s back on it, in order to hear communications from reliable and helpful sources. And the Source.

In my attempts today, I came upon the idea of making use of my large store of quotes, many of which are thought provoking on many levels and might come to my aid in keeping at my blog and my writing. Even if some days I can’t write one good and pertinent sentence, I might post a quote that helps at least me, and you can make of it what you will.

It may be that my own mind is like an ocean that is too turbulent for me to see anything clearly in the water, but that’s not why I chose the quote above. It brought to mind all the many statistics and news stories, sermons and anecdotes and directives flowing all around us, by which some people I know are trying to figure out, not just how to behave today, but what is The Meaning of it all.

10 thoughts on “The wave is breaking in a deep sea.

  1. I think these days a lot of us are having trouble pulling all the thoughts in our heads into a cohesive order, trying to decide which to shelve, which to deal with and how to deal with them. To be honest, you are a heck of a lot more articulate than I would be! It will come. Never fear.

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  2. Beautiful, dear Gretchen. Thank you very very much for letting me come for a visit. Did that quail on the fence really come for a visit today?? Love and prayers, Christie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How lovely that your godmother was able to come for a visit. Too much isolation is just not a good thing. I hope we can soon get back to spending time with our friends and loved ones.

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  4. Not being allowed to spend time with friends and loved ones has been the most difficult aspect of the hard lockdown in South Africa. We were hoping that would be eased as we move to Level 4 on 1st May. Alas, that is not to be. It is the surreal nature of the way this COVID-19 pandemic has gripped the world that fills our mind with a maelstrom of thoughts while we cope with the now, and try to process what will happen in the future. You keep posting!

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  5. The quail on the garden gate is something of a small miracle, right? That it is in a neighborhood and up on a gate? What a treat!

    I feel much the same way – unfocused, wandering from job to job, thought to thought, distracted by unimportant things, forgetful. . . Checking in here is a moment of calm. I love the idea of reflecting on quotes.

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  6. I find that my mind is scattered these days and I find it a challenge to really focus on something. When I’m teaching (such as it is) I can lose myself in my work, but while wandering about the house and garden, my mind is full of threads that I find hard to gather. It seems many of us are in the same situation.

    I love the way quail bob their heads.

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  7. Does it have anything to do with age… all this bouncing and colliding that goes on in a brain? Or what feels like goes on in my brain. At least you are working on a very good solution for the time. But please do not forget to give parts of your day too, like your godmother coming through the gate to your garden, for a visit.

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