Category Archives: quotes

Shame and the modern identity.

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Father Stephen Freeman by his writing has been helping us for a long time, to understand how shame motivates our behavior, both good and bad. There is both healthy shame, which we are “hardwired” with, and toxic shame, which often has unhealthy ramifications down through the generations.

One particular article, “Shame and the Modern Identity,” I’ve wanted to share a link to for some time. In it Fr. Stephen explains how it happens that we start with a necessary form of shame and end up with the painful and crippling emotion of shame.

“We could say that toxic shame, or damaging shame, is the abuse of something that is essential and necessary. That is a useful understanding, and points to just how tricky the acquisition and formation of identity is. It is a razor’s edge and pretty much no one survives the years of its acquisition without a legacy of unwanted shame. The years following that acquisition can often be occupied with the patient work of cleaning up the unwanted bits that shadow our existence. Adults gradually gain a sense of their identity, but very few feel entirely secure about it. ‘Who am I’ can be a haunting question, for example, for someone going through a divorce or a loss of employment. When the props that we have gathered in the establishment of an identity are removed, it’s easy to fall apart.”

If you read the article linked above and still want more, you are in luck. Just last spring Fr. Stephen’s book came out: Face to Face: Knowing God beyond Our Shame. It is good to have much of his wisdom on the subject gathered in one place. Even those of us who aren’t plagued with these emotions ourselves likely know someone who is, and could possibly benefit from more understanding for their sake.

Poetry’s argument with doubt.

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“Doubt is more intelligent than poetry, insofar as it tells malicious tales about the world, things we’ve long known but struggled to hide from ourselves. But poetry surpasses doubt, pointing to what we cannot know. Doubt is narcissistic; we look at everything critically, including ourselves, and perhaps that comforts us. Poetry, on the other hand, trusts the world, and rips us from the deep-sea diving suits of our ‘I’; it believes in the possibility of beauty and its tragedy.

“Poetry’s argument with doubt has nothing in common with the facile quarrel of optimism and pessimism. The twentieth century’s great drama means that we now deal with two kinds of intellect: the resigned and the seeking, the questing. Doubt is poetry for the resigned. Whereas poetry is searching, endless wandering. Doubt is a tunnel, poetry is a spiral. Doubt prefers to shut, while poetry opens. Poetry laughs and cries, doubt ironizes. Doubt is death’s plenipotentiary, its longest and wittiest shadow; poetry runs toward an unknown goal. Why does one choose poetry while another chooses doubt? We don’t know and we’ll never find out. We don’t know why one is Cioran and the other is Milosz.”

-Adam Zagajewski, 1945-2021
A Defense of Ardor: Essays

Krakow 2011 –  Adam Zagajewski

Brave and faithful servants.

Advent, church, quotes, saints, , , ,

Over the years I’ve often written about St. Herman of Alaska and Father Alexander Schmemann, two important people in my life whom we remember on this day. This year I want to add St. Lucia of Syracuse, whose day it also is; we are blessed to have four Lucys in our parish, one of whom is my dear goddaughter.

This morning we had a glorious Divine Liturgy in honor of the saints, with our rector testifying to the power of Fr. Alexander as well, saying that if it weren’t for his influence, teaching and prayers, he would not be our priest today. We sang “Memory Eternal” for Fr. Alexander and for Leonid Ouspensky, whose legacy as an iconographer continues to enrich our parish year after year.

St. Herman and Fr. Alexander have both contributed hugely to the presence of true and living Orthodox faith in America, that Church in which I’ve found the fullness of Him Who fills all in all. Every year that we come to this date finds me more thankful.

Saint Herman of Alaska arrived in Alaska in 1794 and died there in 1837. On the occasion of his canonization in 1969 Bishop Dimitri spoke:

The Church on earth lives in a loving fellowship with the saints who have already run their race, who have fought the good fight, and have received their crowns (2 Timothy 4:7) (James 1:12). This is what the Apostle means when he says that we are compassed about or surrounded by the witness-martyrs or saints. We are assured both of their presence and their interest in us. In fact, they are concerned about the whole world and its salvation, for “there is joy in heaven over the repentance of one sinner” (Luke 15:7).

Father Schmemann was born in 1921 into a family of Russian emigres, and came to the United States in 1951 to join the faculty of St. Vladimir’s Seminary, where two of my own parish priests sat under his teaching. He reposed in the Lord in 1983. Not only has my life been enriched broadly by his contributions to the whole of Orthodoxy in America, but by my reading directly what he wrote, especially For the Life of the World, and his journals. Most recently I read his The Eucharist, which was a treasury of living truth, so vast, I haven’t known how to begin to say anything about it here.

It seems fitting that we commemorate St. Herman of Alaska on this date, when winter is making itself felt. I’ve written before (and yes, before that) about how he spurned the cold, befriended the animals, and interceded between the Aleuts and the powerful people who would exploit them. His is a good example in the Advent season, of how to keep our hearts and activities focused on the Kingdom of God in the face of distractions. 

Santa Lucia buns from a previous year.

The mother of the youngest Lucia in the parish brought darling Santa Lucia buns as she always does, and a few of us stayed to drink coffee in the parish hall. But now I am home, with hospitality on my mind and heart: I have been welcomed into the household of God and fed at His table, and will go in that strength throughout the day and on to the Feast of the Nativity of Christ.

May we all prepare ourselves for the celebration by entering into the spirit of St. Herman, who advised us:

“…let us make a vow to ourselves, that from this day, from this hour, from this very moment, we shall strive above all else to love God and to fulfill His Holy Will.”

We can distinguish between higher and lower.

culture, quotes,
T.S. Eliot, 1950

“[T]he most important question that we can ask, is whether there is any permanent standard, by which we can compare one civilisation with another, and by which we can make some guess at the improvement or decline of our own. . . . We can distinguish between higher and lower cultures; we can distinguish between advance and retrogression. We can assert with some confidence that our own period is one of decline; that the standards of culture are lower than they were fifty years ago; and that the evidences of this decline are visible in every department of human activity. I see no reason why the decay of culture should not proceed much further, and why we may not even anticipate a period, of some duration, of which it is possible to say that it will have no culture.”

-T.S. Eliot, Notes Towards the Definition of Culture, 1948

 From the Touchstone article by Ken Myers, “Ruler Over All: Notes Toward the Restitution of Christian Culture,” July/August 2023.