Kate thinks about her father.

A guest blog post from daughter Kate – on her first Father’s Day without her dad being a phone call away.

There was always so much anticipation in advance of our annual dispatch to the national parks. A week beforehand, the camping supplies would come out: neatly organized plastic bins of plastic dishes, tin mugs, clothesline and pins, lists of items to bring typed out by my mother. Tents would be aired out, lanterns checked, the inside of the van cleaned by my brother so that we could better enjoy 14 days inside. Sometimes we would ready travel journals, or books on tape to listen to on our journey. We always had song books to sing from as a family, and cribbage, and lots of reading material.

Underlying all of the preparation, for me, was the knowledge that I would soon go somewhere I had not been before — and the trust that if Papa was taking me there, it was special. I knew I was not born with the natural oneness with nature that my siblings seemed to have — I never had an urge to go backpacking, and the heat and altitude gave me headaches and a bad case of the whines. But my father’s quiet enthusiasm and intense love for the big spaces and cold lakes he took us to made me want to learn from him — to appreciate more of what was clearly so pure and satisfying.

Nature is honest. A mountain is nothing more or less than it pretends to be. It doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, or omit something for the sake of its image. It doesn’t worry about whether it is being understanding of the other mountains. It is.

I remember a Summer trip — I must have been in my early teen years, more emotional than I was comfortable with and stuck inside my own rationalizations of my ups and downs. We were listening to all of his — my — favorites. Chuck Berry sometimes bothered my mother; Bob Dylan pleased everyone, telling things simply the way they are, like my dad did. “You gotta serve somebody.” Natalie Cole was on, singing softly about smiles: “Smile, though your heart is aching / smile, even though it’s breaking.” I was probably singing along, in the [Glad] way. My father said quietly to me from the front seat: “I like this song. But when you are unhappy, [Kate], you shouldn’t force yourself to smile. It is okay to be sad.”

K w MG Silver L 90

Our patron star kisses us.

This new poem came to me by way of the website Poets.org, and their daily e-mail “Poem-P1000456crpa-Day.” But for it I might have forgotten that tomorrow is the summer solstice – obviously I haven’t been following my plan of keeping up with the moon and stars, etc.

I love the poet’s evocation of a warm summer’s day, and the sort of experience she describes, of spending the whole day outdoors, lolling by a pond and not even going home until night — even though it hasn’t often been my own.

P1000458crpWhen I was young we lived where we could not start this relaxed lingering until the evening turned the heat from scorching to comfortable. Now where I live with coastal and river influence, it’s rare to have a day in summer without chilly fog on one or both ends.

But today the sun shined as soon as it was up. No fog! And when I went outdoors in the morning I didn’t need a sweater. I was caressed by the earth’s atmosphere.P1000449crp

Soldier came over for a few hours to help me clean up and move things around the yard, to prepare for the huge demolition project that is happening soon. Yes, the concrete pool will be broken up and the hole filled with good ol’ dirt. The large utility yard will also have its crumbling cement layer scraped off so that I can make it more useful and beautiful.

So…we had to move all the things one keeps in such a yard, or near the pool, to other places; Soldier sawed old stakes into kindling, and we piled it elsewhere. We moved potted plants, bricks, cinderblocks, and steppingstones; a bench swing, landscape rocks I’ve brought down from the Sierras over the decades, clay pots, tarps, buckets…and dumped out a barrel of water that had been saved since Y2K.

Next week a boy I kP1000439now will help me move all my firewood, and then I’ll be ready to set a date for the heavy work to begin. I’m starting to use the pool water on my plants; the patio is getting crowded, and not with humans.

It was a very satisfying way to spend a few hours on this almost-solstice day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll loll about a little as well, and soak up the sweetness of light.

SOLSTICE

How again today our patron star
whose ancient vista is the long view

turns its wide brightness now and here:
Below, we loll outdoors, sing & make fire.

We build no henge
but after our swim, linger

by the pond. Dapples flicker
pine trunks by the water.

Buzz & hum & wing & song combine.
Light builds a monument to its passing.

Frogs content themselves in bullish chirps,
hoopskirt blossoms

on thimbleberries fall, peeper toads
hop, lazy—

Apex. The throaty world sings ripen.
Our grove slips past the sun’s long kiss.

We dress.
We head home in other starlight.

Our earthly time is sweetening from this.

–Tess Taylor

Naming and claiming wildflowers.

California Coneflower Crane Flat Yosemite 7-09
California Coneflower – Yosemite – 2009

 

If you’ve read my blog very much you know that I love to take pictures of wildflowers.

 

 

 

 

I also like to identify the flowers, so I know what to call them. I can’t enjoy them half as much if I don’t know their names or relations. If I know a flower’s name I feel more the reality that we are both creatures of our Father, and it is my own kin.

lupines varicolored Yos 6-10 89
Lupines – Yosemite – 2010
shooting star East Sierra 7-11
Shooting Star – Eastern Sierras – 2011

Plant identification was slow going until ten or so years ago. Our outings usually included a few children and a father who wanted to get to the mountaintop or some other destination. There never seemed to be time to stop and look through a wildflower guide to see if we could find a picture of what was before us next to the trail. That is, if we had even brought a guide.

If we even owned a guide. Several years of marriage and children passed before we invested in a wildflower guidebook. I hadn’t learned the names of these plants as a child, but when I married Mr. Glad he started teaching me the ones he knew, and that’s how my love of wildflowers began: Blue Dicks, Sticky Monkey, Tiger Lily, Lupine….those were my first flower friends.

I suppose it wasn’t until I had the tools for digital photography that I got inspired, surely by Pippin first, to take pictures of blooms and then go home to work further on the fascinating task of figuring out the name — if not of the exact species, at least the family or genus.

flax crp Smith Rock OR 6-10
Flax – Oregon – 2010

My findings were often published on my blog. Then months or years would go by, and I would see the flower in the wild again, and not be able to retrieve its name from the corners of my brain — even if I had spent hours looking in multiple guides and on websites. So I would go back to my blog and try to find it there, if I had time for that job.

Sierra primrose - Yosemite summer 09
Sierra Primrose – Yosemite – 2009

A few years ago I got the idea of sifting through all those picture files, to scroll through scores of pictures from every hike or trip and find flowers that I had photographed and managed to identify — then I would copy them all into a big Wildflower folder (still on the computer) so I could easily find them again when my ailing memory failed me.

For a couple of days last month when I was too weary and sad to do anything else, I worked on that project, and it didn’t take as long as I’d expected.

Many flowers remain unidentified, maybe more than I know the names of. I put some of them in the folder, too, with a “Q” in the file name, for Question. A question mark would be ideal but it’s not allowed in those file names. If the date and place the picture was taken are known, I add that information.

Tincture Plant – Collinsia Tinctoria -Feather Falls trail 7-11
Tincture Plant – Feather Falls CA – 2011
Scarlet Gilia - close Yosemite summer 09
Scarlet Gilia – Yosemite – 2009

I am sharing a few of the pictures I put into this new folder, not the recent ones, but specimens that haven’t been on my blog for several years. Some of these flowers I haven’t yet encountered again since I first made met them, but I hope there will be many more chances in my future.

These are not the lines.

This poem just now became an instant favorite. Oh, if we all could write half so well about the things we’ve forgotten!

LINES LOST AMONG TREES

These are not the lines that came to me
while walking in the woods
with no pen
and nothing to write on anyway.

They are gone forever,
a handful of coins
dropped through the grate of memory,
along with the ingenious mnemonic

I devised to hold them in place —
all gone and forgotten
before I had returned to the clearing of lawn
in back of our quiet house

with its jars jammed with pens,
its notebooks and reams of blank paper,
its desk and soft lamp,
its table and the light from its windows.

So this is my elegy for them,
those six or eight exhalations,
the braided rope of syntax,
the jazz of the timing,

and the little insight at the end
wagging like the short tail
of a perfectly obedient spaniel
sitting by the door.

This is my envoy to nothing
where I say Go, little poem —
not out into the world of strangers’ eyes,
but off to some airy limbo,

home to lost epics,
unremembered names,
and fugitive dreams
such as the one I had last night,

which, like a fantastic city in pencil,
erased itself
in the bright morning air
just as I was waking up.

~ Billy Collins, poet laureate 2001-2003